I look forward to Back to School season for one reason, and one reason only: the shopping, obvi. IDC if it’s because I’m buying markers, pens, colored pencils, and other boring shit that just collects dust. It still means I have to spend money and buy things for myself that I (debatably) need. It’s the time of year where I buy another overpriced planner, simply because the design is cute and I like feeling as though I have my shit together. Oh, how a planner makes for a perfect disguise. *writes in it for syllabus week only* I then go out and buy an entire new bed set because my side of the room has to look the fucking best. You know, just in case MTV Cribs decides to come back and have a dorm special or something. Although I’m now ancient af a college alum, if there’s one thing I learned, it’s where to buy the hottest shit for your dorm room to make everyone 1) jealous and 2) come to you for all the pregames. Listen up, betches. Class is session.
1. Lilly Pulitzer 2017-2018 Large Agenda – Beach Loot
Nothing screams basic bitch or sorority girl more than owning a Lilly Pulitzer planner. The large size comes with more than enough pages and space to write down all of your parties important dates. Plus, it comes with stickers that resemble Lisa Frank but like, for adults in a festive print that’s on your fave Lilly dress for this year’s track season.
2. Ban.do Agenda Starter Pack – Rose Gold
If you didn’t already, you’re probs getting a new big af bag to carry all your shit in to and from class. Although you’d like to look like you know wtf you’re doing, all of your things def get thrown in like pocket change after the first day of school. Well, this little pouch kind of makes your life easier. According to its description, it comes with things you just “neeeed,” like a marker stamp and gel pen—sounds about right. Since you lose pens like you lose bobby pins, you’ll need this rose gold pouch to keep at least one aspect of your life organized.
3. Anthology Aster Medallion Comforter Set
Too much of a colorful floral comforter makes me think you’re still a 5-year-old. You want one that’s simple, yet classy (whatever that means) in a neutral color so your one night stands don’t feel like they’re sleeping in their little sister’s room. For whatever reason, a white comforter says you’re a sophisticated betch with a fuck ton of power because you are taking a huge risk to keep a white comforter clean. This white one has a gray floral design you can mix and match with other bed décor and still feel like a queen.
4. Shop Betches Do Less Sleep More Pillow Case Set
While we’re on the topic of bed sets that mix and match, you’ll also need pillow cases that inspire you to have sweet dreams, help you go to sleep faster, blah blah blah. It’s not like these are like, therapeutic or anything, but at the end of the day you’ll feel really good about rewarding yourself with a nap you don’t need after barely lifting a finger. Same thing.
5. Urban Outfitters Folklorica Medallion Tapestry
If you don’t have a $50 UO tapestry hanging in your dorm room, do you even smoke weed dorm? This one comes in either navy or white with rose gold detailing so it’ll easily go with any bedroom theme you have going on. Its artsy design will make for the perfect Insta background so all of your followers will think you’re somewhere way cooler than your dorm room. Pro tip for those who aren’t ready to give up the tapestry life after college: You can actually get your tapestries framed, and it will instantly take your décor from “college stoner” to “cultured intellectual who probably studied abroad in India or some shit.” You’re welcome.
6. Francesca’s White Hang It Photo Display
You’ve seen this all over Pinterest and even though it’s probs easy af to make yourself, ain’t nobody got the time, patience, or attention span for that shit. So naturally we’re going to buy it instead. This cute photo holder can showcase all the photos you look good in cherish in a v crafty way—one you can totally get away with telling people you made yourself.
7. Urban Outfitters Bluetooth Speaker String Lights
Naturally, you’re going to get white Christmas lights like every other student and their mother. But these are different and like, literally the best thing I’ve ever seen. These come with Bluetooth enabled speakers you can pair with your iPhone so you can host the best pregames on campus, make all of your friends jealous, and have your room still looking lit. How fucking cool.
