The beginning of October isn’t exactly the start of Back to School, but if you started taking school seriously in the first couple of weeks—i.e. the time when classes are a joke and partying every day of the week has never been more possible—than this isn’t the site for you anyway. That’s why we’ve put together the Betches back to school list for everything you could possibly need to survive, while looking chic, for this school year. We’re not going to say that you’ll fail all your classes without these items, but you’ll definitely be failing at life.
Pencils, Pens, Oh My!
Seriously, who the fuck uses pens and pencils anymore? Maybe these writing tools were once helpful for jotting down notes when you were away from your computer, but if you’re not writing that random thought that you had about the app you’re totally definitely going to make and get rich off on your iPhone now then what are you even doing with your life?
Now that you have all those fancy and expensive pens and pencils what are you going to do, just leave them lying around on your desk? Please. Get your shit together, girl. You obviously need an equally chic pencil holder to keep together all the pens and pencils that you will literally never use.
Not for actual use—c’mon, we’ve been over this—but think about how great the cute stationary will look on your Pinterest and Instagram. Plus, you can totally get your parents to sponsor it, just say what at the start of school every time. “This year it’s going to be a whole new me,” you tell them. “So organized and on top of things.” Then write one checklist on it at the beginning of the year before never touching it again. I’m already fantasizing about what next year’s cute stationary will look like.
As Mean Girls taught us, there’s literally nothing more important to school than Plastic. Gear up for the new school year by outfitting your desk with every single one of these plastic accessories and this may finally be the year you CAN sit with us.
You’re not the only one jolted by the sudden change back to a regular schedule of waking up at . Your phone is also going to be dealing with the additional stress of trying to make it through an entire day without dying. Gone are the days when you woke up at and your phone was able to cruise through the whole day. Without this chic portable charger you won’t be the only one that literally wants to kill themselves in the middle of yet another lecture. (Do you really want to get home only to find out that Brad texted you to meet behind at the quad after class?)
Matte Black and Gold Computer Cases
As if you would actually show up to school without a computer case that is just totally you. Now that everyone on Earth owns a MacBook, the only way to differentiate yourself as a true betch is with one of these sparkly Mac cases—either black or gold, depending on how you’re feeling that day.
Streaming through those headphones is just an endless loop of the best betchy songs, but no one has to know you’re as basic as the standard white iPhone ear buds with these cute “Friends” headphones.
Maybe you just moved into a dorm, but somehow sharing a 4 by 6 foot space with another person and sleeping on a cot has never looked so chic. With these keychains you’ll be out of the dorms and into the top sorority house in no time.