256. Having An Overactive Imagination

We’ve already covered why betches have trust issues (it’s not your fault), but a side effect of this is having an overactive imagination. Since you’re better than everyone else and always #winning, you’re also constantly thinking a step ahead of everyone else. While your friends might casually say “you’re thinking too much” when you inevitably spiral into the hundreds of scenarios that could explain why a bro texted you “what’s up” and didn’t reply to your reply for 11 hours, you’re really not.

Literally “thinking too much” is why some people are presidents and CEO’s over others, and that’s a quality you share with those people. While nice girls just assume that everyone is nice and telling the truth, you know that in reality, everyone’s shady AF. Having an overactive imagination isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it can get in the way sometimes. Like when you start seeing a bro and after the first date you’re already planning your wedding and naming your kids. It’s not that you actually want to jump to these conclusions, it’s just that you are super smart and advanced brain is calculating all possible scenarios and outcomes. That’s right, your overactive imagination isn’t you being crazy, it’s a sign of your more evolved brain.

Basically, this also makes you paranoid sometimes. Case in point, you might be walking home alone perfectly fine one moment, and the next you’re imagining getting kidnapped by the bike messenger that is just on his way to deliver Chinese food down the street. You periodically check your trunk to make sure a creep didn’t sneak in while you were loading your groceries, and you still can’t be entirely sure some rando didn’t install hidden cameras all over your house, even though you have no reason to think that. Some may call it paranoia, but we just say you’re hyperaware. This is part of the reason betches love Law & Order: SVU so much—it helps keep us on our toes. Chances are slim you’ll actually Orange is the New Black yourself and go to jail for getting caught in a romantic drug ring your lesbian lover emotionally trapped you in, but the fact that you think it could happen means you’ll recognize the red flags sooner than others. It’s also why when you watch shows like OITNB or any Shonda Rhimes or Jenji Kohan show, you think it could totally happen to you.

AKA your overactive imagination actually is a defense mechanism (probably, we didn’t do any science on this) keeping you from actually spiralling into a real-life scenario of trouble. So while bros might think they’re tough because they can sit through horror movies and still sleep through the night after, your fear of watching scary shit is really because of your highly evolved internal defense system. So next time you have to explain you can’t watch the new Paranormal Activity because of your overactive imagination, just remember that you’d probably live the longest if a horror movie actually happened.


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