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You And Your Enthusiasm Killed The Eyebrow Trend

This is why we can’t have nice things. Somebody on Instagram got bored and decided to start a new brow trend that makes your eyebrows look like Will Ferrell’s character from Zoolander. They’re calling it barbed wire brows, which isn’t exactly a sexy sounding name either. Sure, because we want to think of coarse and sharp metal when we think of our faces. What’s going to be next, freckles that look like stalagmites? Oh wait. We already have freckle tattoos, so pretend I never said that.

 

Unfortunately the barbed wire brow isn’t the first brow of its kind. The feathered brow—literally separating your eyebrows down the middle so they look like two feathers above your eyes—has been making the Instagram rounds as well, and our first instinct was to look for Sarah McLaughlin so we could donate to the charity behind this “trend”. Because surely nobody would willingly make their eyebrows look like that unless they were born with some rare eyebrow deformity, right? But nope, there was no GoFundMe to speak of, just an overly confident makeup artist on the other end who is trying to ruin our lives with fugly brow trends.

 

It’s like somebody watched The Hunger Games and saw how people in the Capitol dressed and thought that’s the epitome of beauty. We love Elizabeth Banks and all, but we’re not about to live in a future where the beauty standard is clown casual.

We can get down with thick brows, but brows that look like they belong in a Coachella headband are not a good look. Sorry, but those barbed brows make your face look like a 8-year-old’s science fair project. What’s next, wearing fake eyelashes on your eyebrows? Brow extensions? Beaded brows? Never mind, forget we even said that.