The end of winter break can be a traumatic time for college betches everywhere. As you say goodbye to a month without a single responsibility, you’ll experience feelings of shock and pain. The idea of setting an alarm makes you want to drop out of school and the thought of buying new school supplies makes you want to cut up your AmEx. Let’s go through the 5 stages of getting back to campus after winter break.
The first stage settles in when you begin realizing that break is almost over and you did basically nothing. Maybe you didn?t go hard enough on New Years or you didn?t spend anytime outside of your hotel room in Miami. Either way, the end-of-break regrets are piling up and making you more emotional than Kris Jenner after a bottle of Merlot.
Cheer up. It?s a new semester, so it?s time for new blackout stories and new Sunday morning regrets. This stage comes in when your crew group chat starts up again and everyone starts talking about what to wear your first weekend back on campus. Everyone agrees on black.
You get back to school and the withdrawal hits. Where?s my homemade coffee and breakfast waiting for me in the morning? And how do you expect me to go back to showering with flip flops? I just need my housekeeper to make my bed and my mom to drive me everywhere, ugh.
Being the drama queen you are, the stage three withdrawal only worsens and denial creeps its way in. This denial is stronger than when you heard Miley and Liam were back together. WTF happened there? You don?t even want to think about waking up before eleven on Monday. You refuse to buy new notebooks and need to pop a pill when you even look at your syllabus. If teachers e-mail me a reading assignment already, I?ll transfer.
After several Xanax rounds and a few FaceTime tantrums with your parents, you accept the fact that your vacation has ended and it?s time for school to start again. Time to find the smart kid to cheat off of and best seat to text in class. Oh, and don?t forget to suck up to your professors before you stock up on your alcohol supply for the Spring. They?ll totally understand that you?ll be sick in bed all semester.