Asian Noodle Soup to Combat Your Shitty Cold

What a goddamn surprise: you’ve contracted some sort horrendous virus thanks to the global warming during the day and plummet into freezing temperatures at night. Your body clearly can’t take this shit the way it used to so, of course, you’re now the proud owner of a shitty, shitty cold.

How does one combat a cold? Tons of meds and tea and rest? Fuck yes, but, also, lots of amazing food with herbs and salt and veggies and all the shit your body is craving while it battles with that gooey guy from the Mucinex commercials.

We give you: Asian-inspired noodle soup with chicken, herbs and feng shui.


  • 8 oz. of rice noodles also known as bean threads
  • 1 tsp. sesame oil
  • 4 scallions, diced – dark green tops reserved
  • 6 vegetable bouillon cubes
  • 3 cloves of garlic, minced
  • 1 inch ginger, peeled and grated
  • 3 tbsps. of fish sauce (you can adjust this based on taste)
  • 1 red Thai chile, sliced into rounds
  • 1 cup cooked chicken
  • 1 cup of bok choy, chopped
  • 2 cups baby spinach
  • ½ cup cilantro, chopped
  • ¼ cup Thai basil, chopped
  • Lime

Cook the motherfucking noodles according to the package directions. Once they’re drained and ready and shit, toss them with the sesame oil and dark green scallion tops and set aside.

Grab a ginormous pot and add in about 8 cups of water plus the vegetable bouillon cubes. Bring it to a boil, then add in the rest of the scallions, garlic, ginger, fish sauce, and chile. Simmer covered for like 15 minutes, then add the chicken, bok choy, spinach, cilantro, and Thai basil; simmer for like 5 minutes. Take off the heat.

Split your rice noodles among some bowls, then ladle the soup over top. Serve with a spritz of lime and Nyquil. 


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