OH FUCK – The Army is About to Get A Lot Betchier

As every betch knows, there are very few areas in which being a woman is not harder than being a man, but “required military service”  certainly is one of them (followed closely by Ladies Only drink specials and then that’s about it). Unfortunately, this little perk for pussy-havers might be on its way out.

Following a Pentagon decision to open all jobs in combat units to female service members, top officers in the Army and Marine Corps testified Tuesday that they believe it is time for women to register for the draft. And for you slower betches out there, registering for the draft means being maybe being drafted into the fucking army at some point in the future. 

So live it up now betches because as of Tuesday our spot was totally blown up in front of the entire Senate Armed Services Committee which heard testimony from Gen. Mark A. Miller of the Army and Gen. Robert B. Neller stating that they believe all woman over the age of 18 should be eligible for military service the same as men. 

So betches, time to do what we do best and prepare our fake medical excuses, because considering how fucked the world is, we might need them. Maybe something like this: 

“Uhm…sorry General…but I just remembered my feet are like…sooooo flat. Also guns give me anxiety. Does that count?” 


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