Someone Knocked Anne Hathaway Up

Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later: Anne Hathaway, the undisputed most annoying actress and ugliest crier of our generation, is pregnant. This news really shouldn’t be shocking to anyone, considering that she said last year that she was looking forward to starting a family, but that doesn’t mean that she won’t be the most annoying mom in the world. Her child will no doubt be taught to smile way too big and have a fugly haircut from an early age. Her hot, grey-haired husband hasn’t gotten many acting jobs lately, so he should have plenty of time to be a stay-at-home dad while Anne rakes in the dough for Rio 3.

This is Anne’s first biological child, but it’s her second baby if you count the Oscar that she probably keeps in her bed every night. She hasn’t said how many children she plans to have, but we’re guessing it’s seven, so that someday she can stage her own family production of The Sound of Music, with her starring as Maria, of course. We wish Anne the best of luck with her pregnancy, and pray that she picks a baby name that doesn’t make us cringe.


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