An Open Letter To Donald Trump’s Hat

I’m pretty sure America’s betchiest 2016 presidential candidate Donald Trump has tried to run for president 5 times, but he’s never been taken seriously. That being said, you kind of have to LOL at the state of the nation right now when Donald Trump is considered a “serious candidate” and is also leading basically all of the Republican polls.

We’ve gotten some super amazing quotes from Trump so far and the election is still more than a year away. What comes out of his mouth though is actually nowhere near as amazing as the verbiage he’s been sporting across his head.

I just want to take this moment to salute Donald Trump’s hats. Red, white, and hopefully he’ll debut a blue version, there’s no denying the “Make America Great Again” hats are dope. I would totally buy one to match my “Back to Back WWII Champs” tank if my head didn’t look super tiny and dumb in hats.

Besides the obvious fact that these hats are the bro-iest piece of headwear ever sported by a candidate, the message on the hat is even greater than the hat itself.

America, get your shit together. We need to be great again.

I probably disagree with 85% of Trump’s beliefs (the 15% I agree with mostly has to do with how awesome being rich is), but I do agree our country has some issues: mostly that everyone is being weak-willed and obnoxious.

America needs to take a page out of the Betch’s handbook and stop taking shit. Most of the nation is SUPER easily offended (read: the comments section on every fucking website), in debt, and overall just being dumb and whiny.

We should all get behind Trump’s initiative to Make America Great Again. Stop being offended by dumb shit, because not giving a shit is a virtue and no one cares if you’re offended. Get rich. And don’t complain when you can make a change. (Do complain about bad brunch service and weak drinks though, it’s your right, you’re an American.)

Basically, the message is this: Nation, step up your betch game. Make America Great Again.


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