Adele’s Credit Card Gets Declined at H&M, How Embarrassing

Adele—the British singer whose main attributes include singing fucked-up songs and making money off of other people’s pain—recently had her card declined at an H&M. Weird, because I’m pretty sure if she wanted to, she could buy H&M in its entirety. And probably all of Britain. (At the very least she could buy Chris Martin, which is fine because I don’t think the UK wants him anyway.) 

Adele Hello

The singer told the story to a crowd at her recent San Jose performance, properly peppering in phrases like “Bollocks!” and “Fortnight!” To make matters worse, apparently her dog had a panic attack in the store, and tried to claw another dog. Sounds like a real arsehole.

Adele crying

Like my life coach/accountant/paternal father says: “Money can’t buy you responsibility.” It can, however, buy you a terrible dog and that’s kind of the same thing. 

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