A Tribute To Talentless Celebrities

Talentless celebrities. You know who they are. In the past decade or so, there’s been a new generation of mega-celebrities who have gotten famous for no real reason, and we love to hate them more than anything else.  From children of celebrities (Paris and Nicole), to reality stars (the Kardashians, duh), to the Ryan Seacrests of the world, these rich bitches are basically everywhere.  Let’s take a look at some of the most cringe-worthy examples.

A personal favorite of mine is Amber Rose. I don't know much about her life story, but the main (read: only) reason she’s famous is for dating famous rappers. From Kanye West to Wiz Khalifa to whoever she’s screwing right now, Amber hangs on the arm of any man with a gold chain for as long as he can tolerate her. Between rappers, she desperately clings to her relevance by starting shit with other celebrities on Twitter and Instagram. Out of all the talentless celebs, she’s probably one of the most frustrating because she doesn’t even have a TV show or anything to be selling.

While Amber Rose is obviously gross, there are many people who aren’t much better.  Everyone is sick of hearing about the Kardashians, but they’re pretty much the most well-known example in this category.  We’re all still confused as fuck as to how they got a reality show in the first place, but now you literally can’t go a day without hearing about them. At least Bruce used to have a talent (he won a gold medal, look it up kids), but it’s probably been about 30 years since he last threw a javelin.

While the Kardashians are the big deal now, we would be remiss if we didn’t go back to where the talentless reality star started: The Simple Life. It has literally never gotten old watching Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie trying to milk cows and work at a drive-thru. Plus, both of them are still just as famous as they were a decade ago. Paris is still a ridiculous human who travels the world pretending to DJ, while Nicole has generally gotten her life together and seems like the cool mom she was meant to be.

There’s no telling who the next random famous person will be, but it doesn’t look like this trend is going to slow down any time soon. All we can really hope for is that it’ll be someone whose last name isn’t Jenner, and who doesn’t have to suck up to Taylor Swift to get on a magazine cover.


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