105. It’s Like, Whatever

Another betchy linguistics lesson…

“It's like, whatever” might be the betchiest expression in the English language. It incorporates two of our favs, “like” and “whatever.” Get fucking real, these are two meaningless words but together they form a powerful statement. It's kind of like telling someone to chill. The word doesn't really mean much, but say this to a betch and you've landed a spot on her temporary WYDEL.


garycolemanGary, what does “it's like, whatever” really mean?


“It's like whatever” is a combination of moderate #80 bitching and not giving a shit. You care approximately 30 percent but definitely in a way that's trending negative. So why don't we just full-on bitch about it? Because there are times when you don't care enough to claim you're “over it” but care too much to say you don't. “It's like whatever” gives us an efficient way to express this complex emotional mix.

It's like you're trying to let it go, but in a passive-aggressive way without actually letting it go. But like, you are. It's similar to saying, “I'm 'over' this conversation.”

Classic “it's like, whatever” situations include:


jessica simpsonThose jeans are sooo NOT like, whatever.


Your friend asks you about a guy: “How are things going with Ben? Anything interesting?” – “It's like, whatever…” – This means he hasn't texted you in a week. You're not happy about this but you're too good to give a shit and you definitely want your besties to be clear on that.

Plans for the night/too lazy to bitch: “Do you want to go to Ashley's to pregame? Or Melissa's?” – “Umm, it's like… whatever, I don't care” – They both suck. You have no interest in going to either. Whatevs, free alc.

[Side Note: Sometimes the “it's like whatever” will be followed up with the “I don't care.” In this context, “I don't care” is the same as saying “I'm pissed off but not enough to talk about it.” When you actually don't care, you definitely don't care enough to say so.]

When your bestie looks fug in her outfit: “How's this skirt with this top?” – “Eh.. it's like whatever, change back to the jeans” – She looks fat and heinous and you see the beginnings of a muffin top.

To the person unfamiliar with the betchy language, “it's like whatever” may seem like a ridiculous expression that means nothing. It's exactly, like whatever. But to the trained ear, every betch knows if you're one of those people who takes the phrase at face value, you're definitely like… whatever.



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