How To: Seem Down to Earth

One of the major criticisms about betches is that they're pretentious bitches who lack appreciation and are superficial. In other words, we're not down-to-earth. We're here to help you combat the #43 haters by teaching you how to appear down-to-earth.

Say something is expensive: As a betch you may get yourself into a situation in which you are with a friend that is more poor than you. It is important that you do not offend her while subtly letting her know you are better than her.

“OMG, I love shopping at Harrods, but it's like, so expensive.”

Gas is really expensive these days. A gallon is like the price of my iced coffee.”

Random comments about how sad it is for people to be poor or deprived:

“We should totes raise money for the starving kids in Indonesia, I hear it's a serious issue there.”

“Oh, I've SEEN Hotel Rwanda. Seriously groundbreaking film.”

“I felt really bad for that homeless woman, so I gave her 25 dollars. I really think she'll be able to clean up now and get a job.”

A mani on 3rd Ave is only $10, what a steal!”

Random comments about the #2 news:

“I'm so happy they overthrew that dictator in Egypt. It must be because Barack Obama is Muslim.”

 

cluelessChristian: Do you like Billie Holiday? Cher: I love him.

 

Liking weird movies: But not too many, that makes you a freak from a small liberal arts school. It's okay to say you like movies out of the mainstream though, like The Wackness or Pulp fiction.

“The cinematography in Kill Bill 2 was visually captivating. Can’t wait for Aronofsky’s next one. Oh wait, I meant Requiem…”

So betches, make sure you appear down-to-earth enough so people don't think you're a completely vapid souless bitch, but not so down-to-earth that people feel like they can approach you whenever the fuck they want. It's an art.

 

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