The Betches’ Guide to Pinterest

We'll admit we heard of Pinterest a while ago and our obvious reaction was like, why would I go on the website where my tutor submits my homework? Who even has interests let alone pinterests?

But much like with Twitter, as 2012 rolled around we started to hear about it everywhere. If 2011 was all about #winning, 2012 is clearly about #pinning. Suddenly even our own besties were talking about the delicate art of designing pinboards and how pinning has allowed them to get in touch with their “calming colors,” so now they only like interior decor in black white and aquatic hues. What was happening in the world?

Pinterest is like a midpoint between online shopping and reading Modern Luxury/Bride/Town and Country magazine and once we gave in, it became like a new form of therapy, if therapy was a severely addictive waste of time.

pinterestA fan made us this.


Before we go any further, it needs to be said that everything on Pinterest reeks of nice girl. There is NOTHING that helps us cultivate our fake nice image more than Pinterest. Like you just woke up from vomming into your toilet but sign into Pinterest, pin up a series of floral arrangements on a silver fucking platter, click 'like' on some white enamel bangles and voila! Suddenly you're a masterful homemaker and an urban stylista again. Now go wipe your vom.

While Twitter lets us tell everyone our hilarious opinions and black out escapades, Pinterest is where we get to show everyone our classy taste and highlight our housewife potential. It's like these days, if you can't figure out how to transform your vanilla cake into a perfectly symmetrical tie-dye explosion you might as well just devour the entire thing for how long it'll be until you're married.

Betches also like Pinterest because it broadens our shit-talking horizons. In the past, our frenemies kept their private thoughts like, private. But now they share their fugly pins for all the world to see. Ugh, Carly isn't even engaged yet but she WOULD pin a master bathroom with his and her vanities.

With that we introduce to you The Betches Guide to Pinterest. Here's the betchy way to use yet another social network to project your innermost profound appetites in the form of hydrangeas, pearl strands and antique mirrors.

Making Boards: The naming of your boards is obviously a huge thing, usually some variation of “things I love/dream house/dream vacation/places and spaces/home things/sweet treats/stuff I luff/I'm unoriginal but I can rhyme.” We are not condoning naming boards like this but we'll admit we have never once seen a creative pinboard title, which is fine because originality has no place on Pinterest

pinterestBecause the $2200 we pay for rent will totally get us a place like this.

Who to Follow: You sign in through Facebook so there's the awkwardness of automatically following all your friends who are also on Pinterest. This was reallll awkz at first until you realized that it happens to everyone and they knew you weren't actively following them…and it was great once you realized all the followers you would soon have to show off your flawless taste to without them even asking for it.


As you'll inevitably get followed by randos once you join, you definitely should not follow those randos back unless they're your actual friends. Follow-back rules are the same as Twitter, you only follow people you'd stop and chat with.

However it's okay to follow complete randos and to repin them freely. They don't know you so you don't have to be embarrassed that you're like, complimenting their taste or anything.

Repin Etiquette: You can repin people who have repinned you in the past, or people who you followed automatically who you've physically seen and spoken to (amicably) in the past year (in real life).

Comment/Like Etiquette: Only cool to do on a third tier outer circle friend's pin at most.

So betches, unlike memes which were over in 35 seconds, it looks like Pinterest will be around for a while if only for the reason that it's extremely entertaining. If you're too cool for Pinterest, that's chill, we are too but our agent told us we had to sign up. But now that we're on it, it's like wow, this is what mankind has been missing. How else will poor people without wedding planners figure out what calligraphy font they want on their ivory double-stock place cards?