Everything sucks. It keeps snowing, it’s literally always freezing outside, and no rooftop bars are open yet. Summer has honestly never felt further away, but shopping for summer shit is usually a pretty solid way to fight off my seasonal depression. I mean like, until you see your pale, sickly looking skin under the fluorescent light of a Nordstrom fitting room and everything feels 10 times worse. But whatever. Thankfully, all of the new sandal styles are now available, so go treat yourself to a pedicure, your first iced coffee of the season, and shop for some summer shoes. Here are the eight most popular sandals you’ll want to stock up on. Just like, don’t wear them yet. When New York finally hit 60 degrees last week, I wore a dress, and have never felt so personally victimized by every single passerby in Manhattan.
1. Ankle Strap Sandals
If you’re going to buy one pair of sandals this summer (moment of silence for thinking you’d ever make it through a summer purchasing only one pair of summer shoes), it should be a pair of ankle strap sandals. I am honestly such an advocate for ankle strap shoes, there’s like, prob going to be something about them on my tombstone. Is that too morbid? Are tombstones even still going to be a thing by the time we die? Have any of you seen a good YouTube conspiracy video on death in the future? Is there a Black Mirror episode about it? LMK. Anyway, ankle strap sandals go with everything, and you should already own a pair by now. If for some reason you don’t, buy these.
I used to relentlessly rip on people who wore Birkenstocks, but like most questionable things I used to hate and now can’t get enough of, I changed my mind when Kourtney Kardashian started wearing them. Birkenstocks are literally so comfortable and now that the brand has realized that people besides pothead philosophy students have started to wear their stuff, they’ve stepped it up. You can wear these with everything from T-shirt dresses to the cropped Lululemon leggings you probably live in all summer. Just like, don’t accidentally step on the back end of the sandal while you’re walking because it’s literally worse than stepping on a Lego.
3. Slide Sandals
Honestly, bless the footwear industry for making slide sandals a thing. You know exactly why these are a gift to the universe if you’ve ever broken a sandal strap on vacation or dealt with ridiculous foot tan lines. These literally solve all problems. It’s amazing. Besides the fact that these will make an insanely loud noise while you walk down a flight of stairs (you will get so many dirty looks if you are trying to run down to a subway with these on, just a warning), these summer shoes are pretty much the perfect solution to your entire life.
4. Boujee Sliders
Boujee sliders are like the shoe version of that friend you have from college that you want to hate, but love to party with with, so you stay in contact with her for life. Like, I don’t want to be wearing a pair of rubber slider sandals with a fur or glitter strap, but I’m going to because it’s a good fucking time. Sure, these will basically turn you into Snooki, but she’s doing pretty well for herself these days so like, don’t fight it.
5. Those Sandals From ‘Wolf of Wall Street’
Okay, so, remember in Wolf of Wall Street when Leo DiCaprio and Jonah Hill were like, all fucked up and freaking out about Steve Madden? Well, the sandals that Steve Madden was making at the time are back, and these are them. Like most 90s trends that we’re rewearing, these are kind of ugly, but everyone’s like, obsessed with them. You can make these your go-to summer shoes for 2018, but I can’t speak for any period of time after that.
6. Espadrille Sandals
You know how, a few summers ago, every travel blogger was wearing those sandals with pom-poms on them? Well, espadrille sandals are the 2018 version of that trend. Sure, they’ve been around forever, but that’s not going to stop said travel bloggers from acting like they just invented them. It’s kind of like how they think they discovered that small Caribbean island they’re getting paid to convince you to visit. Or like, how Christopher Columbus thinks he discovered America.
Mule sandals aren’t just for trendy high school art teachers and Anthropologie store managers anymore. Apparently we’re all supposed to be wearing them now, too. The most ridiculous part about this trend is that everyone’s like, “wow they’re so comfortable!” While that may be true, the majority of the mule sandals out there are light, neutral colors like blushes and nudes that come in suede materials. This pair is also called “Commute.” Obviously, whoever named these has no clue that there is no worse footwear than a blush, heeled suede sandal to wear to commute in. But, whatever. These are a trend in summer shoes this year, so here you go.
Platform and flatform sandals have definitely been popular for the past few summers. The way this look has been switched up for 2018 is by making them look like posturepedic footwear. These are basically the sandal version of those fugly Balenciaga sneakers that every fast fashion outlet is ripping off right now. I’m not exactly sure how, but I feel like Kanye West is to blame for this.
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