The ultimate rule is that if there is sexual tension (or you wish there would be) with the bro you are texting, you will get pissed off and dream of a time when guys wrote romantic letters to girls. In reality, if a guy ever wrote a romantic letter to you, you would put him on the backburner faster than you can say “stalker.”
Here are the things bros do over text that make us question if the male gender is biologically challenged in some capacity.
1. Not following two lines of conversation
You’re talking about something funny that happened at the office today and what your plans for dinner are tonight. He only answers the first one. How TF am I supposed to know if I should starve myself all day or eat a granola bar for lunch?
2. Answering with emojis
Did you actually graduate high school or are you some pre-teen weirdo pretending to be 21 years old? LMK. If you use the eggplant emoji, you will be blocked.
3. Snapchatting us back, but ignoring a text
IDGAF about seeing your face if you don’t let me know if you’re coming to the pregame with me tonight. Get your priorities straight.
4. Not answering our drunk texts
We’re not talking anything excessive (we wouldn’t answer a batshit crazy drunk betch either) but I’m clearly trying to plan my sleeping arrangements for the night and a response would be appreciated, fuck boy.
5. Asking us if we watched the game that night
This is worse than no text at all. We’ll probably google the score and respond, “yeah what a game.”
6. Being vague about plans
My social calendar is already packed so if you’re not being straightforward, I’m not interested.
7. Asking us to come over at like 11:45 PM on Monday night
I already took my make up and bra off…Bye Felicia.
8. Always following the same texting pattern
Read: Hi, Hey, What’s up, nmu, etc. I’ll just go fuck myself at this point. Really thought we left this kind of conversation behind, but guess there always exceptions when it comes to dumb AF bros.