50 Cent was recently asked to explain Instagram photos featuring him posing with piles of cash after filing for bankruptcy last year. The U.S. Trustee’s office now wants to review his assets considering he literally captioned one of the photos “I’m too rich,” and spelled out “BROKE” with stacks of hundreds in another. He responded by claiming the bills were fake and that he’s not hiding any money, which is actually a classic response to the betchy problem of always wanting more money despite having a lot to begin with.
For example, everyone knows that telling your parents you need money for “food” or “books” is a great way to fund the purchase of things like drugs, alcohol and that new Prada bag they said you couldn’t have. Even if you can already afford these things, it’s always a good idea to keep asking for more so you can invest in your future. Because that’s the responsible thing to do.
The key to all of this is to keep the people who supply your cash flow ignorant and happy, without sacrificing any of your lifestyle choices because that would be absurd and this isn’t the Great Depression. Usually to appease parents this means actually purchasing some practical items, i.e. “Look Mom, can’t wait to use this new coffee maker!” even though you plan to go to Starbucks every day and just booked Coachella. The moral of the story is, you’ve got to know the proper times to show and hide your cards.
So Fiddy, we wish you good luck. If the U.S. government is anything like our parents after reading our credit card statements, they’ll be mad for a little but over it before dinner.