Date functions are what college betches live for. We drag ourselves out of a bed everyday at noon, pretend to give a shit about supply and demand in class, and attempt to be part of the dumbest club on campus all so our parents don’t stop paying our college tuition and we can attend date functions.
Think about how much you loved prom and then how much it sucked once you actually went. A college date function is like prom, but you’re blacked out and it’s acceptable. We’re not sure if these things are actually fun or not because we’re too drunk to care.
If you try to tell me you were drunk at prom too then I’ll laugh at your tolerance because two swigs from your date’s flask barely constitutes a buzz. You should probably just go home now.
Beyond the blacking out and mastering the perfect mix of trendy and slutty, there is also the issue of dates. If you’re one of the losers who has a boyfriend in college then get off this site. JK, maybe read an article about Anne Hathaway?
Who you bring to your date function sometimes speaks more about the kind of betch you are than how expensive your shoes are. These five qualities are absolutely necessary unless you want to be that girl who’s stuck babysitting her blacked out date on the bus ride home. What benefit do you even get out of this besides taking some funny Snaps of him drooling?