We all know that betches are busy AF and don’t have the time to spend hours working out, nor do we want to. I mean, I can barely keep my phone trapped in a SoulCycle locker for 45 minutes, so I actually can’t comprehend how people spend over an hour at the gym. Whether you’re in a life-long time crunch or are just don’t have enough Addy in the world to get through a long workout, you’re in luck, because we’ve mastered the 25-minute gym session. You’ll be in the gym for less time than the morning shower line at Barry’s Bootcamp, so let’s get started so we can move on with our lives. Here’s what we’re doing.
Minutes 1-2: Warming Up. Don’t Argue, Just Do It
As much as we’d love to cut the bullshit and get straight into a sick workout, you need to legitimately warm up your muscles a bit to avoid shocking your system and being like, physically impaired the next day. There’s nothing wrong with a little soreness, but if you can’t get out of bed because you were an idiot and skipped your warm-up, don’t blame us. Jumping jacks, mountain climbers, or some light jump roping are all ideal to warm up your body and get your heart rate going. You can also do some bodyweight lunges and squats to stretch your legs out after spending all weekend on your couch watching Tasty videos and eating Halo Top.
Minutes 3-9: Getting Toned AF
A lot of girls tend to show up to the gym, spend 90% of their time on the treadmill, and then do like, three bicep curls before heading home. If you want to get the most out of your short gym session, you’re much better off doing a few minutes of strength work before you start sweating your ass off. If you wait until after your cardio, you’ll just be too tired and lazy to maintain the right form, so it’s important to do your toning work before your legs feel like literal Jell-O. Since you only have six minutes, pick three movements that target three different muscle groups. For example, squats, lunges, and tricep dips target your butt, legs, and arms. Perform 10 reps per move, and continue going through the three until the time is up.
Minutes 10-16: HIIT
The minute count here isn’t a typo—you really only need six minutes to get an effective cardio workout if you work hard enough. In case you’re a total newb to quick-fix fitness, HIIT stands for high intensity interval training, and it’s basically the fastest way to burn a million calories in a V short amount of time. This is because you’re working your body as hard as you can for 20-30 seconds, resting, and then repeating. This pattern has been scientifically proven to spike your metabolism and put your body in a fat-burning mode for the rest of the day. Basically, for those six minutes, do 30 seconds of intense cardio work, whether you prefer burpees, treadmill sprints, jump squats, or intervals on the rowing machine. Rest for 30 seconds after each interval and then do it again at the beginning of the next minute.
Minutes 17-21: Abs
Ab workouts are tough because everyone’s bodies react differently to them. You can do a million fast sit-ups and feel nothing, or you can hold a strong plank for a minute and start crying by the end. Different people feel the burn from different exercises, so you’ll have to find the moves that work for you and make you want to die by the eighth rep. When you have less than five minutes to do abs, your best bet is to pick 2-3 exercises that you can go through slowly with good form. We recommend bicycle crunches, scissor kicks, V-ups, side planks, or leg lifts. Add a weight to the movements if you’re a psycho and don’t plan on laughing for the next few days.
Minutes 22-25: Stretching
Before you (literally) throw in the towel and douse yourself in dry shampoo on your way to work, do your body a favor and spend a few minutes stretching. We’re not telling you to get comfy in the gym’s corner with the cast of Jersey Shore with their foam rollers and Blender Bottles, but it’s definitely worth your time to stretch before heading out. Alternate between downward dog and pigeon pose, and hang over your legs for about a minute too. Basically just do whatever feels good so you can prevent soreness as much as possible. Unlike most things at the gym, there’s really no wrong way to stretch, so don’t skip the only thing you could potentially be good at. You’re like, basically an athlete at this point.