Betchocracy 2016: Christmas In July

For the first few weeks after the primaries ended, things had been moving pretty slowly. Trump and Hillary were chugging along, picking up some endorsements, and generally having a good time, but there weren’t a lot of major developments. But now, with the party conventions just a couple weeks away, things are gearing up quickly.

Vice TrumPence

Donald Trump had previously said he would make a decision on his running mate by the end of this week, and on Friday Trump confirmed that his choice is Governor Mike Pence of Indiana. In case you’re unfamiliar, Mike is a fucking terrifying Tea Party disaster mess, best known for championing Indiana’s religious freedom law which allowed businesses to not make gay wedding cakes. He also doesn’t believe in evolution. More on Mike in weeks to come, but yikes.

Bernt Out

Earlier this week, Bernie finally swallowed his pride and officially endorsed Hillary for President. The two appeared together at a campaign rally in New Hampshire, where Bernie won by a large margin in the primary. Some of Bernie’s supporters are very disappointed, with a small group even threatening to vote for Trump. We know this isn’t most of you, but grow the fuck up.

A Special Appearance From George W. Bush

This is completely unrelated to the 2016 election, but it’s important. At an event to honor those who lost their lives in Dallas, both President Obama and former President George W. Bush spoke. They were all standing together on stage as the orchestra played “Battle Hymn of the Republic,” a majestic song about how much America rocks. Everyone else got the memo that this was supposed to be a somber moment, but somehow W. thought it was the time to be goofy, smiling and swaying around to the music. How was this idiot President for eight years?

Zero Dark Trump

All summer, we’ve been seeing different polls from around the country, all aimed at predicting what will happen in November. But one of the most recent polls might be the most interesting: in key swing states Pennsylvania and Ohio, Trump is polling at ZERO PERCENT among black voters. It’s unclear how big of an effect this will have on the state’s results, but it sounds pretty fucking awful.


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