“I’m Deleting Tinder” And Other Lies You Tell Yourself In Your 20s

This is the last month that I am 20 years old. So, in honor of me growing into a mature, legal woman, here is a list of lies I have told myself at 20 years old. I know I’m not the only betch….

1. Oh my god, shut up. I’m not even drunk yet!
2. I don’t love him anymore! I just need to know who the hell is that bitch with him!
3. She’s not even that pretty.
4. Tinder is gross. I would never download Tinder.
5. I’m deleting my Tinder.
6. I’m sick *fake cough* *fake cough*
7. This is only my second piece.
8. Yeah, promise I’ll go to Pure Barre with you in the morning
9. Yeah, promise I’ll go to SoulCycle with you in the morning
10. Yeah, promise I’ll go to Bikram Yoga with you in the morning
11. I must’ve accidentally deleted that picture of us where I look like Chewbacca
12. I’ll write that essay in the morning
13. I’ll write this list in the morning
20. I didn’t procrastinate writing the list! I promise!


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