Imagine your day is going great. You’re finally caught up on your HBO shows, you drank $8 juice for lunch instead of eating a carb-filled sandwich, you showed up to work on time, you washed your hair, and all of a sudden, you accidentally like your crush’s old Instagram picture from 57 weeks ago. Don’t panic. Well, panic a little bit. But it happens to the best of us. And when it does, you can relate to the following.
1. You immediately text your besties with a SOS HELP about what you did.
2. You consider changing your Instagram handle, then deleting your Instagram, then moving to a different country.
3. You check his recent activity to see if he’s been active in the last hour. Maybe he didn’t see it…
4. You consider calling out of work. Maybe quitting your job. Maybe going off the grid completely.
5. You look up space travel. Have they figured out recreational space travel yet? What’s the waiting list to live on the moon?
6. You think about announcing news on Facebook to drown yourself in comments and likes to forget your mistake.
7. You consider messaging him since the damage is already done.
8. Your friends assure you to definitely not message him and you thank yourself for texting them first.
9. You become paranoid about every screenshot you’ve ever sent over text. Social media flubs come in threes, right?
10. You check in to Bermuda on Facebook with the status “haven’t had service on vaca see you in a week America.”
11. You delete your Bermuda status because nobody was falling for it.
12. You put your phone on airplane mode and get drunk.
13. You give up and check your Instagram feed to make sure that if somebody were, say, prompted to click on your profile completely out of the blue, that they would think, “wow she lives a dope life and I better back stalk her too, maybe I’ll message her to see what she’s doing.”
14. You think, fuck it, it’s a compliment that I liked your old post and you should be so lucky.