The newest season of The Bachelor hasn’t begun yet, but our night terrors about Nick Viall are well underway. Waking up in a cold sweat from our subconscious anxiety about him is a common occurrence these days, so thanks a lot, ABC. Here are the ten Nick Viall nightmares we’ve all had:
1. The one where it’s the first day of school and your professor is Nick Viall, who frantically pulls you into a corner to ask what subject this class is supposed to be in.
2. The one where you and Nick Viall are trapped in an elevator and he keeps humming the theme song to Friends and giving you dirty looks.
3. The one where you feel like you’re drowning in the ocean and you look down to find Nick Viall pulling on your legs and pointing to a coral reef mouthing “Mermaids are real.”
4. The one where you’re waiting in line at Starbucks for an eternity when you decide to ask what the hold-up is, and everyone in line silently points to the new barista, Nick Viall.
5. The one where you’re pregnant and Nick Viall won’t stop asking what the sex of the baby is.
6. The one where you’re running late to an interview and when you arrive at the office a swivel chair slowly turns around with Nick Viall saying “Look who decided to show up.”
7. The one where a huge tornado is heading toward your house and Nick Viall is just sitting on a rocking chair on your front porch knitting a sweater as if nothing is wrong.
8. The one where you bump into Nick Viall on the street and he says “Nice outfit,” and you look down and you’re wearing a shirt with his face on it.
9. The one where you’re running the best race of your life in the third leg of a 400 meter relay and you go to give the final hand off and Nick Viall drops the fucking baton.
10. The one when you’re having a perfectly good date with Ben Higgins and then he takes off his mask and it’s actually Nick Viall.